Tag Archives: marriage

Times are changing – women afraid to get married, men more open to it

Times have changed and women are changing them. From Jezebel:

A new study has found a possible reason for the much-vaunted decline in marriage: people are afraid of having to go through a divorce. And women are more likely than men to fear getting “trapped” in a relationship they can’t easily exit.

And exiting is the new factor. Now that women can leave marriages and have the financial stability to do so – everything is changing. They are even avoiding getting married in the first place. Preferring to stay single longer and closely evaluating the men in their lives. While men seem more open to marriage than ever before.

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In support of gay marriage, the lustful monster, and the missing link

I love this story for its integrity and raucous quotes. So raucous I can’t post them, but you can read them here. The full story below, but it leaves one obvious question unanswered. Why did two seemingly random football players, both married to women, come out in support of gay marriage, with one loudly defending the other?

The answer at bottom and shame on the media for not reporting this crucial fact.

The summary, from NPR, and sorry for the lengthy quotation but it will lure you into reading the story.

The debate over same-sex marriage has collided with the world of professional football in a loud and public way. Let’s roll back. It started with Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who’s a vocal supporter of legalizing same-sex marriage, an issue on the Maryland ballot this November.

Well, that drew the ire of Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns, Jr., a Democrat, who wrote a letter to the Ravens’ owner. He said he was appalled and aghast that a Ravens player would, in his words, step into this controversial divide. Burns called on the Ravens to order Ayanbadejo to cease and desist.

Well that, in turn, drew a lengthy, extremely colorful response from another NFL player, Chris Kluwe, punter for the Minnesota Vikings. Writing on the sports website Deadspin, Kluwe defended his fellow player and called Burns out for what he called his vitriolic hatred and bigotry.

And that, according to sportswriter Dave Zirin, is arguably the greatest political statement by any athlete ever.

 

Continue reading, Same-sex Marriage Debate Collides with the NFL.

And the one piece of fact that all the journalists missed, the link between Chris Kluwe and Brendon Ayanbadejo…

They are both alumni of UCLA.

Go Bruins!

 

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N.Y. Times interesting profile on Mark Zuckerberg’s wedding

 

The wedding of Mark Zuckerberg to Priscilla Chan last weekend here in the backyard of their $7 million home had all the staging of a carefully orchestrated celebrity event. A publicist for Facebook eagerly offered photos afterward of the beaming couple, who met at Harvard and have dated for much of the last nine years. Well-placed anonymous sources leaked to reporters the dinner menu, which included sushi and Mexican food, and the fact that Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong performed.

***

Ms. Pettibone said she realized Ms. Chan was wearing her design after the designer’s husband pointed it out in a photograph he saw of the new bride. “It’s not our top seller,” Ms. Pettibone said of the $4,700 dress, one of 40 in her bridal collection, in a phone interview. “But it’s respectable.”

All her dresses are made to order so, last week, Ms. Pettibone said she combed through her orders to see where the dress was sold. It was the Little White Dress boutique in Denver, and it was apparently bought by a third party.

the full profileFacebook’s Royal Wedding

 

**In the N.Y. Times article the photo above has 56K in Likes compared to the 1.5 million it has now.

‎10 Questions Couples Should Ask Each Other Before Getting Married

Yesterday, The New York Times posted Questions To Ask Before You Marry, which I then re-shared  in Facebook, setting off an interesting debate. Several of my happily married friends laughed, saying it’s overly pedantic. Me, I like to be thorough about any type of investment or venture I pursue, especially when there’s a contract involved.

What do you think? Does it scream “Written by an MBA” or should couples approach marriage more like a business investment/venture?

Here are the 10 questions:

1. What is our “mission statement” as a couple?
2. To what extent are you willing to go to have a family, medically?
3. What will we do if we find out our child has severe disabilities?
4. Who should I have on speed dial for the days when I just can’t figure you out?
5. Can you name two couples that you admire and would hope to emulate?
6. How do we stay sexually engaged with each other?
7. Will we share our credit reports with each other?
8. Should we have an exit strategy for the marriage, and if so, what would it be?
9. If married previously, why did it end and what did you learn from that relationship?
10. What are our conflict management styles, and are they compatible?

And in response to the “absurdity” of these questions, my friend, John Bordeaux, wrote this response, “Breaking Down Loves Checklist” – which is worth reading and reflection.

Question in Quorahttp://www.quora.com/Should-couples-approach-marriage-more-like-a-business-venture-investment

When both people want it to work

An excerpt from the book, Those Guys Have All the Fun: Inside the World of ESPN.

A random piece of sports advice that resonated with me and my current issues:

I was raised by a couple that’s been married for almost fifty years, so I see how it works and it works when both people want it to work, when they’re both invested not just in the “I’s” but in the “we’s”. They look at it as a joint ownership of something that’s bigger than both of them.

And that’s how I’ve always looked at SportsCenter. “Hey, look, I have my little chair over here and you have your little chair over there, but when we come together at this table, this table is bigger than either chair separately, and it’s bigger than both chairs together ultimately. So we have to respect that.”