With websites like exRATED (http://exrated.com) popping up, allowing people to review their exes and aiming to be the ultimate Yelp for those looking for insights on potential romantic partners, and Facebook algorithms that can determine your sexual orientation without you indicating what it is, and increasingly more of our personal and private information being posted online, leading to sometimes embarrassing, if not life-altering consequences, a historically behind-closed-doors activity is now evolving to a more “out there” experience and forever changing how we view and approach sex.
I caught up with my friend Stef Woods, attorney, sex and relationships blogger, and professor of ‘Activism and Social Media‘ at American University to discuss the topic.
When I asked her what trends she’s noticing online with regard to sex and sexuality, here’s what she had to say:
Interesting question. The huge growth in social media has led to a new sexual revolution of sorts. People now obtain much of their sex education from the Internet. The majority of sexual health and entertainment purchases are done online. And, the more that women and men write about sexuality, sexual health and sex toys online, the more that sex is normalized. Women can learn about sex during menopause or how to achieve their first vaginal orgasm. A gay teen can see a video, encouraging him to stay strong because it does get better. A couple can shop for their first toy together. Planned Parenthood has even implemented pilot programs that allow people to text and IM staff for answers regarding STIs, pregnancy, contraception and AIDS.
However, the combination of social media and sex can also lead to public scandal and private crisis. Would Weiner have lost his position without Twitter? Would the world have known the extent of Tiger Woods‘ indiscretions without social media? Would Phoebe Prince and Tyler Clementi still be alive if they hadn’t been subjected to cyber-bullying? Has social media increased the opportunities for people to engage in emotional and sexual affairs?
I personally believe that “sex in the cloud” is forcing us to deal and address sex in a more open and transparent manner, and that this can only be a good thing. I don’t believe AIDS would have declined as sharply as it did in the United States without the education and awareness the internet and email provides.
On the flip side, change can be uncomfortable for a lot of people, especially around a topic as sensitive as sex. I can’t even tweet about tampons without eliciting vehement commentary from a handful of men.
Which is why people like Stef, who is trailblazing a path to a more accepting, compassionate and informed sexual society, are so necessary — and impressive. It’s tough enough to talk about and sometimes even have sex in the comfort of your own home. But doing it for all the world to hear and see, and having it captured in the cloud indefinitely — it’s a whole new ballgame.
*Stef Woods is a professor at American University, attorney, sexuality educator, writer, and women’s health advocate. She writes about relationships, sexual health, breast cancer, and dating on her blog, City Girl’s Blog. Next semester she will be teaching ‘Sexuality and Social Media.’
think the solution to a happiness-based model is really just “based on people working less and owning less.” You need to think deeply about what “work” is. Are we defining it as soul-sucking time spent acquiring money in order to pay debts built from acquiring stuff? Does it include a sense of satisfaction at seeing something created, sustained or used. How is work tied to the stuff we acquire and what additional costs are part of working (e.g. commuting). I would look to the Maker movement and the challenge and satisfaction of creating our own things. But I would stipulate that “working less” may be something very different depending on what work we do.
thanks kelcy. DIY and the Maker movement is definitely on our radar. we specifically asked Dale Dougherty to be a part of the event we’re producing in Vancouver b/c of this: http://www.expertclick.com/NewsReleaseWire/Futurist_Inventors_Welcome_Dale_Dougherty_to_Vancouver,201136588.aspx
As I read this, I had multiple thoughts:
- Is your premise true that consumer-driven growth model broken? Your anectdotal evidence of contemporary capitalism, which is causing a global crisis of unconscionable proportions – with food and energy prices soaring, world populations surging, and weather-related disasters like tornadoes, tsunamis, droughts, fires and floods increasing in frequency and scale…I’m not sure you can prove cause & effect???
- In order to answer the question, I think you would want to find the actual causes or variables that make up consumer-driven growth: generational, cultural, periods of war, and so on.
- Digging deeper into the second bullet, I believe would give you a better chance in studying the question & coming up with some plausible solutions.
@Urchin - I totally agree. I was at the dinner with them and I felt like the blame was being placed in the wrong area.
I would argue that we are not a consumer driven society in the first place. That’s like saying my garden is a vegetable based operation. It totally ignores all the extreme effort it takes to create the vegetable. The soil, the tilling, the weeding, the watering, the harvesting, and then finally the eating.
I think we have let economists define us using an easy measure of production. I can measure my garden by saying how many vegetables it produces but it only covers about 10% of the process.
This is especially problematic considering that all the change, innovation, and failure is occurring in the process before consumption. Look at cars for example. We are still buying cars, a lot of them, but the car industry still collapsed. They needed to change their process and the like.
In food, the same is true, we have an ever increasing demand for food but are ignoring the process behind it. Prices are rising for reasons totally unrelated to consumption.
On the whole I would recommend a definition of life-cycle consumption. Determining an economic measurement that quantifies multiple levels in the creation and consumption process. Each one is interrelated and can be tracked for growth, weakness, etc.
I just came across an interesting article that discusses aspects of what you are trying to define. I haven’t read the books they reference near the end, but they may also give some additional insights that have value to this quest. http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/stefan-stern-behind-corporate-walls-the-masters-of-the-universe-weep-2297910.html